Week 7, Zanna: Mindfulness of Posture

The Exercise: Several times as day, become aware of your posture. This has two aspects. First, it means to become aware of what posture you are in and how it feels within the body.  If you closed your eyes, what would be the clues that you are standing or sitting or lying down?  For example, if you are sitting in a chair with your eyes closed, what tells you that you are in a body that is sitting? Where do you feel pressure or movement?  Being aware of posture also means to notice and adjust your posture many times a day. If you are slouching, gently straighten up.

When can I take this book off my head?

There's been a lot on my mind lately, so it was hard to pay attention to this weeks exercise.  But when I did pay attention I noticed that the stuff on my mind was weighing on my posture and pressing down on my shoulders as if the thoughts I've been carrying are parts of a hat made of bricks.  Straightening up my spine didn't do much for my mind, but it does help with my aching back.

I was in a meeting yesterday morning and caught myself with one leg tucked underneath me and slouching in the chair.  I started to right myself and sit upright, with good posture, but I looked around the room at the other people in the meeting and realized, if I did that, I would stick out like a sore thumb.  No one was sitting "properly" several people were kicked back lounging, a few people were slumped slightly on the table, the few that were anxious about where we were with the project were on the edges of their seat, leaning in towards the rest of the group, practically begging us all to pay attention to them. Of course I'm familiar with "posturing", I've just rarely been so aware of the postures of posturing.
I'm writing this from terrible posture. I'm semi-reclined on the couch with my knees up as a desk and a likely harmful pull on my lower back which is causing my butt to fall asleep.  It's awful, and I'll pay for it later, but it's darn comfy now.

Week 6, Zanna: True Compliments

The Exercise: Once a day, think of someone close to you--a family member, a friend, or a co-worker-- and give them a genuine compliment.  The closer the person is to you, the better, such as a child or a parent. )It doesn't count to tell a stranger at the post office that you like their scarf.) The more specific the compliment, the better.  Become aware also of any compliments other people give you. Investigate the purpose of compliments and the effect on you being given a compliment.

I was really afraid at the start of this exercise that any attempt to give genuine compliments would be met with sneers and eye rolls.  I'm generally regarded as a brilliant burro (or some thesauric equivalent) and as such have noticed a tendency to but a backspin on compliments.  It's tough. If Middle School taught me anything it's that both giving and receiving compliments puts you in a vulnerable position. Don't be too enthusiastic about anything lest you look like a dork.  Thanks, Middle School, you cold hard bitch.

I must say the results weren't noticeably dramatic on the giving side of the exercise.  One friend was complimented on his cooking skills, another on parenting choices, yet another on consistently good advice.  I'm not sure that it registered to them that I was doing anything differently. I compliment people fairly regularly, I just took off the backhand.  I didn't tell anyone that this was the mission until last night when I mentioned it to the Husband. Once I mentioned that I'd been making a point of it, he did say, "I guess now that you say it, I did notice more compliments than usual."
And then he complimented me... and I deflected it! Gah! Why do I do that?  It's been a big week for getting compliments for me.  We had the company bake sale fundraiser for the American Heart Association (yes, my eyebrows rise quizzically too) and I made my TruffleZ and received many compliments for the sweets.  In the name of sales, I need to be gracious about that type of compliment. No one wants to hear the response to "These are delicious!" as "Well, it's not my best batch ever".   It's worse when someone compliments me directly.  The Husband said to me this week, "You're so smart" (not sarcastically) and the first words that started to come out of my mouth were, "Not smart enough to do *insert random thing*"  This has long been a theme for me.  When I first met the woman who is now my mother-in-law, the first thing she said to me was, "You're very pretty."  And I responded, "Well, at least I'm stupid."  (This was a joke for years with my friends, you know, like... she's ugly, but she has a great personality... we played with it some... she's pretty, but at least she's stupid  *sigh*).   She was relieved to find out that I had just panicked.  Even writing this is hard... as though through reporting that someone said I'm pretty or smart, I'm being a braggart.
I guess it's a combination of my Scandinavian/German heritage, my Gasqueness, and the hard lessons of the Middle School playground.
I'll keep working on it. And thank you.

Week 6 for Juliet: True Compliments

“Kind words do not cost much. They never blister the tongue or lips. They make other people good-natured. They also produce their own image on men's souls, and a beautiful image it is.” --Blaise Pascal

The exercise for this week is each day to give someone close to you, preferably a family member or friend, a sincere, specific compliment and notice its effect.  (Telling a stranger you like their shoes doesn’t count.  I say this because I love shoes.  My eyes are magnetically drawn to women’s shoes.)  Also part of the exercise is to be aware of the compliments that are given to you and how they affect you.

First let me say that I could not have picked a better week for receiving compliments.  Having a birthday during this exercise time was a great cosmic coincidence.  I am still floating on the clouds of heartfelt love I received from my Facebook messages alone.  Along with that, teaching a yoga class on my birthday and receiving compliments, gifts, and flowers from my students shot my heart wide open.  This was a much needed boost in a week that has been challenging for me personally and professionally as a yoga teacher.

Giving compliments is the natural way I can express my desire to look for the good first.  When I complimented a student on their steadiness to their studentship of yoga I could see a physical change in how a pose was practiced.  When I complemented my son on how well he parked the car, he beamed with pride back to me.  Words matter.  They can make or break a love affair.  They can also fuel a movement or start a war.  Using words wisely is key to a mindfulness practice.

I want to hold onto the lesson of this week and remember to practice giving out kind words freely each and every day.  To not be stingy with compliments or in showing my gratitude or affection to those close to me.  May each of us use kind words to impress beautiful images on each other's hearts and souls.

Week 5, Zanna: When Eating Just Eat

The Exercise: This week, when you're eating or drinking, don't do anything else. Sit down and take time to enjoy what you are taking in. Open all the senses as you eat or drink. Look at the colors, shapes, surface textures. Attend to the smells and flavors in your mouth. Listen to the sounds of eating and drinking.

For some reason, I thought this would be relatively easy.  I knew it would be challenging to go out to lunch or dinner with anyone, so except for a few exceptions, I mostly ate by myself.  I know I should have kept up the exercise while eating with people, but after several half-hearted tries, I decided that recognizing failure could be part of mindfulness, and not answering my meal companions' pleas for conversation was rude. What I didn't expect was how difficult it would be to "just eat" by myself.  Normally, I use my breakfast time to work on my puzzles (back to doing them with my right hand now) or check what the denizens of the interwebs are talking about or sometimes I even work!  When I forgo the social lunch, and eat lunch at my desk, I generally do the same.  I eat dinner, I frequently watch the news.  I feel like I must do something other than just eat lest I fall behind and lose the plot of the epic saga of the "World".   Hi. My name is Zanna, and I'm a mediaholic.
A few mealtimes during the week, I did actually manage to sit, take time, and "enjoy".  I have a few observations based on the few successes.  A) The sounds of people eating have always made my skin crawl.  The smacking of lips, the sucking of teeth, the teeth-shattering crunches.... it turns out, that this also holds true for the sound of myself eating if I have nothing else to focus on.  B) I didn't eat as much.  Whether it was because I was bored or my stomach was too turned by the terrible noises to finish is still unclear, but I ate about half as much as I normally do in a sitting.
This second observation is worth holding on to, regardless of the reason I ate less.  I think I need to keep up with this particular practice, at least somewhat, in the weeks and months to come.

Week 5 for Juliet: When Eating Just Eat

The mindfulness exercise for this week was when eating or drinking, to just to eat or drink and not do anything else.  This exercise was hard for me and I experienced a lot of mental resistance.  In discussing it with Zanna, I immediately started looking for the loopholes.  Surely I could talk during meals, just not with food in my mouth.  Maybe we could agree that we only had to do this for the meals we ate during our daily work week that were not with our families.  Oh and when we went out with each other or other friends, obviously that didn’t count.

After remembering that I had this accountability thing called a blog where I had to tell everyone about my about my experience, I pushed though my resistance to this exercise and forgave myself for not being as diligent as I would like to have been.

The first thing I noticed was that I eat and drink ALOT during the day.  My meals tend to be small and frequent.  During a typical business day, I might eat three or four times (and that is just before I leave at 3:30), all of these meals alone at my desk.  These were the easiest ones to follow the no distractions guidelines.  Just turn away from the PC, no working or checking your Facebook.  Does reading things that just happen to be out on my desk count?  Yes, avert your eyes!

Eating in silence without distraction at home and while out with others was something ultimately I decided I was not willing to do.  I view mealtimes as social gatherings, a time I get to connect and hear about the day’s ups and downs, what is going on in someone’s life, and share my stories.  I get that mindless eating in front of a TV set is a bad thing, but I think mindful eating with people you love is a good thing and that is what I want to cultivate.

Honestly, do they look like are enjoying their meal?

My favorite part of this week was making a roasted broccoli recipe that was so good my family stood over the pan in the kitchen and ate it together.  We shared with each other what we liked about the food and teased my son that he was eating broccoli and liking it.  Should I have placed my food on a plate so I could eat it alone and consider for myself the complex tastes of the broccoli, lemon juice, and garlic.  Not!

My father, one of most conscious eaters that I know, would frequently say to me when I was a kid about to eat something not so healthy, “Do you eat to live, or live to eat?”  My answer is still the same, I do eat to live, but eating can and should also be a pleasure, especially when I eat with great company.

Oh, by the way, The New York Times featured an article today on mindful eating with a quote by Jan Chozen Bays, MD, the author of How to Train a Wild Elephant.  If you want to read the article here it is: Mindful Eating as Food for Thought

Week 4 for Juliet: Appreciate Your Hands

The assignment for this week was several times a day while your hands were busy, to watch them as if they belonged to a stranger.  Also to look at them while they were still.

One thing I noticed when I watched my hands, was how amazingly functional they are and how they work to take care of my needs without much conscious attention to what I am doing.  Seemingly having a mind of their own, my hands move and gesture while I am talking, preparing food, and raking through my messy hair several times a day.

Watching my hands I am also reminded that my hands are the way I express the love that is in my heart.  I use my hands to touch those close to me; my family, my friends, my yoga students as I make an adjustment to their bodies in a pose.  So much feeling is conveyed through a touch.  If the eyes are the windows to the soul, then truly the hands are the extensions of the heart.  As a yoga teacher, I have taught entire classes on how to place your hands intentionally and with good alignment in poses.  What we do with our hands expresses what is going on in our hearts and minds.

Another part of the assignment for the week was to look at my hands and imagine them as they were when I was a baby and then imagine what they will be like when I am older.  When I look at my hands now, what I see is how much they look like my mother’s hands.  The same shape of the fingers and nail beds, hands that are dry and cool to the touch.  For fun I held my son’s hand up to my hand and was amazed at how at 15 his fingers are so much longer than mine.  He has his Dad’s hands; long slender elegant fingers, warm hands that contrast my cool dry ones.

Over the weekend, I was in Atlanta at a yoga workshop with Anusara yoga founder John Friend.  Walking through the retail area I looked at the murthis (statues) representing the Divine in its many forms.  While those unfamiliar with the Hindu mythology may find the images strange, I love how each part of the image has a story. I also love how so many of deities are represented as having multiple hands; each hand purposefully there to hold an item significant to their story or perform a gesture that has a special meaning.  Talking to Manosh, the vendor and expert on these murthis, he told me that he felt my archetype was Lakshmi, the goddess of abundance and beauty.  In the image of Lakshmi, two of her four hands hold lotus flowers, symbolizing that beauty can grow from any circumstance, even from the muddiest of water.  Her other two hands offer blessings and boons back to the world, gold coins flowing from her palm.

I like to imagine that my hands, which are morphing more quickly than I would like into my mother’s hands, can also morph into Lakshmi’s hands.  As I watch my hands, moving through daily tasks, I appreciate their work in creating more ease and beauty in my life.  In gratitude for the abundance that I have, may I use them to make a loving offering back into the world.

Week 4, Zanna: Appreciate Your Hands

The Exercise: Several times a day, when your hands are busy, watch them as though they belonged to a stranger. Also look at them when they are still.

Have you ever really looked at your
hands, Torgo?

Ah, the "Dude, have you ever really looked at your hands... I mean really looked at your hands" exercise.  Being about two decades removed from having any idea where to look for drugs, I had to do this one straight. This was nearly impossible for me. I even managed to pick up a small cut on my left hand this week and I have no idea how it got there. So much for mindfulness. I did try, however, and I have some observations.

Observation the first: I'm turning into my mother. I did manage to look at my hands a good bit while they were still, and they looked familiar (well, duh, they've been attached to my arms for 39 years or so)... but not as my hands. I was brought back thirty years.  These are my mother's hands. The same patterns of wear. The same webbing. The same wrinkles. When did this happen?

Observation the second: I tried to watch my hands while they were busy.  I really did try. My hands have performance anxiety.  I have trouble typing when someone is sitting in my office looking over my shoulder. Apparently this is also true when the person looking over my shoulder is me. My hands do pretty well doing their own thing, but the instant you look at them they freeze up and become bumbling idiots.  Unobserved they are amazing. Reaching into my purse, which in itself is an act of stunning bravery, they can instantly identify everything by the slightest touch. They can detect very slight variations in vibration allowing me to open master locks with my PS3 dual-shock controller in Skyrim.  They can absorb a tremendous amount of tension as they clinch and help me hold my tongue.  Thank you, hands, for all you do.

Observation the third:  I need a manicure.