Exercise: This week, endeavor to look at things and people with loving eyes. Notice any changes that occur in your eyes, face, body, heart/mind, visual field, and focus when you remember to look with loving eyes.
This week I endeavored first and foremost to remember to make better eye contact with people when I am talking and when I am listening to them. I first became aware of my habit to converse to the ceiling when I was a Toastmaster. In my nervousness, I found it easier to concentrate on what I was saying if I didn’t look into anyone’s eyes. In the years since Toastmasters, I have improved but I still have to remember to make a conscious effort to look into someone’s eyes.
I started my exploration of this exercise this week by looking at myself in the mirror trying to make loving eyes to see what this really looked like. How do I convey this feeling through the eyes? Do they get wider or smaller with crinkles in the corner? Is there a subtle smile involved or a big grin? How do other people pick up on the non verbal cues of my loving intention?
I decided that there wasn’t really a right answer to these questions. That to me looking at something with loving eyes wasn’t so much an outward action. It was looking at someone or something and offering the inward blessing of my love.
It has been a rough week. My stepfather, Rich has been in the hospital for several days and has had three heart catherazation procedures resulting in four stints being put in his heart to open up severely blocked arteries. Rich came into my life in my late 20’s when he married my mother, so I have never had to live with him as my parent. For a lot of reasons, he and I have had a bumpy relationship. However, I know he loves my mother completely and is a good grandfather to my son. This knowledge has helped me to see his good points.
So this week I practiced on him. I gave him my best loving eyes listening to him talk from his hospital bed all week. I also gave loving eyes to my mother, to the nurses, doctors, visitors, and other support people who came into the room to take care of him. When my mother called me on Tuesday to tell me that they were finally going home, she paused and told me that Rich wanted to talk to me. When he came on the phone he told me that he loved me. I replied that I loved him too. In my memory this is the first time we have ever said that to each other.
The eyes are windows to the souls. Give someone the look of love.
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